The Jesse Tree

James and I were talking around the start of this holiday season, back around Thanksgiving, and he mentioned wanting to maybe do advent through Christmas.  Well, I was okay with that, but I didn't really know what advent was... Thankfully, I came across a study on the Bible app on my ipad titled: Advent-Emmanuel, God with us. It started out kind of defining advent for me and that really helped.  Here is what it said:

"Arrival.  That is what the word "advent" means.  Only the Advent we are celebrating here is not just any arrival.  It is The Arrival.

Advent is not about waiting for a baby to be born.  Advent is not about waiting for a religion to be established.  Advent is not about gifts or liturgy or days on the church calendar.

It is a weary, hurting world tracing the promises of God through time.

It is the groaning of mankind under weight of sin so heavy it cannot lift its head.  From the first debt of sin to a voice crying in the wilderness, "Prepare ye the way of the Lord!", Advent traces kings and kingdoms and goats and alters in search of an everlasting hope - Emmanuel, God with us.

This is Advent: the coming of hope to the hopeless, the arrival of peace to war-torn exiles, the long-awaited exhale of freedom for generation after generation gasping for air.

Advent is the elaborate yet stunningly simple plan of God to descend to His children, to become like them in the most unexpected, unglamorous, fully human way.

This is the beginning of a great ransom story."

Anyway, those are not my words, but they became my heart.  They truly struck a chord that I'm not sure had ever been struck in the same way before.  I was moved and knew that advent had to be a part of our traditions not just this year, but for all Christmas seasons to come.  I suddenly realized that though I've always loved Santa and the "magic of the season" it was no longer important to me at all.  (I'm not trying to start an anti-Santa campaign of any kind, so please don't misunderstand my words.)  I wanted to learn to anticipate freedom and redemption and Jesus and all he brings through his life, death, and resurrection the way I had always anticipated Christmas.... and I know I want to teach my children to do the same.

So, I went on a search.  I decided to start working on making an advent calendar that worked for us.  Not just a Christmas countdown, like so many advent calendars seem to be, but something with real meaning that "traced the promises of God through time." I had previously come across this lady's website that I'd used several times in teaching Sunday school and she had some free downloads that I wasn't sure if I'd use, but ended up saving just in case.  I remembered they kind of went through the Bible from the Old Testament to New so I went back and took a look...  they were titled "The Jesse Tree Advent Project."  I had no idea what a Jesse tree was, so I had to read about that also.  It turns out, its a really neat way to journey through scriptural events that occurred before Jesus's birth.  The term "Jesse tree" comes from Isaiah 11:1-"A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse: from his roots a Branch will bear fruit."  This verse refers to Jesse, the father of King David, who was in the lineage of Jesus Christ.  My wheels began to turn.  I read and searched and read and searched.  Finally, I settled on this set of printables that followed along with the Jesus Storybook Bible that we already owned and love!  (If you don't know this version of the Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones and you have children, or even if you don't, you must find it!)  The printables came from keepinglifecreative.com.  Pam, the creator of the website, designs these beautiful digital felt images that are perfect for using on felt boards.  You just print and laminate and put some felt on the back and they're perfect!  The Jesse Tree set can be purchased on Teachers pay Teachers for $6.00 and then she has a free download so that you can pick just the ones that go along with the Jesus Storybook Bible.  Then, with a stroke of luck, I found kelleighratzlaff.com!  She has a timeline and tutorial on how to make your own Jesse Tree ornaments.  Perfect!

Finally, I took all my ideas and nailed down a plan.  I saw this Jesse Tree on Etsy that I really liked and tried to make my own using my new resources.  Here's what I came up with

It's by no means perfect, but I made it!  If you look closely, or even not so closely, you can tell the red felt that backs the tree is VERY crooked.  But each piece is made from felt and hand embroidered/sewn.  I look forward to using it for years to come and eventually passing it on like a family heirloom.  

Here are some shots of my favorite ornaments.

I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out, even with its crookedness.  

And one more picture, just because it makes my heart so happy to see hime enjoy it.

One Year (and a couple weeks)...

One year and almost two weeks ago, I was birthing a baby!  It is so unbelievable to me that it could possibly have been a year already, but I cannot even imagine what life was like before my little Anderson came in the world.  Babies really do change everything... so much in fact that you can't remember what it was like without a baby.
He's so beautiful.  He's not just cute and fun, but he is beautiful!  God created him with such precision. Just the right amount of giggle to overjoy my heart.... just the right amount of independence to keep me patient.... just the right amount curiosity to keep me busy.... just the right amount of watchfulness to make me want to be a better person.... and just the right amount of tears to keep me compassionate.  Yes, I could argue that he was created with me in mind, and yet I know he has a much greater purpose than to just fulfill my hearts desire.
I truly feel so many emotions over this milestone, but we had to celebrate!  It was, in fact, one of the most wonderful days of my life.  So, we had a party!  A fun, colorful, monster party.  I worked on the decor for quite sometime and then we invited family and a few friends to come enjoy it with us.  Here are some of the highlights!

The Welcome... I found the monster wreath idea on pinterest (here) and loved it!  I know you don't often need a monster wreath, but he was the perfect greeter for our party and I thought at least maybe I could reuse him around Halloween time.

So, most of the things I created for the party were inspired by pinterest.  Here are some canvases I made for decorations.  (Inspriration here and here.) I painted each of them with acrylics and then used my Cricut to cut out the words and stuff.  The blue canvas and the green polka dot canvas both have paper letters that were applied using Mod Podge.  The yellow canvas has vinyl letters that are self adhesive.  I finished them off with a nice coat of matte finish clear acrylic.  I have this vision of pulling out "the birthday signs" each year... so hopefully they'll last for a long time. 

The sweets table... and of course, Andy's favorite snack- Goldfish.  Though you can't see them, the big pompoms have giant wiggly eyes to make them look like monsters. We have lots of monster books from my kindergarten days, so there's a couple of those on the table, too.  My favorite by far is Go Away Big Green Monster by Ed Emberly.  So much fun.  

A close up of the goodies.  Don't judge my attempt at a monster smash cake.  The cupcakes and cake pops definitely turned out better than it did.  I'm not sure what I did wrong... my icing kept falling off and it is terribly crooked.  Fortunately, Anderson didn't notice its flaws.  The links for my smash cake and cupcake inspiration are here and here.

The monster cupcakes.  I made some chocolate with cream cheese filling and icing and some yellow with cream cheese filling and icing.  The small candy eyeballs were ordered online (I can't seem to remember which website) and the large ones are Wilton brand purchased at Michael's.

I made lots of little funny monsters with my Cricut and stuck them and monster party hats around on the furniture.  The party favors came from Oriental Trading and we had lots of wallet sized pictures from the year to give out also.

A couple of banners.  The picture banner has a one picture from each month starting with a maternity picture and going to 11 months old.  The happy birthday banner is being stored with the birthday canvases in hopes of using it again for future birthdays.

Of course, we had to have one more mini-banner for the birthday boy's chair.  

First, we ate lunch  (hamburgers and hotdogs with all the fixings) and then it was time to open presents.

He was definitely starting to get sleepy at this point.  You can see it in those little eyes.  Time for cake before it's too late! 

Before

After-  My sweet icing covered sleepy boy.

He didn't really get into his cake much... I think he was too sleepy.

We put the boy in the bathtub and one more photo opp at the Monster photo booth. Inspiration here.

Then, the photo booth became a kissing booth!  

Anyway, we had a wonderful time celebrating with those that came.  It was a special day.  My mom made a wonderful time capsule for Anderson to open on his 18th birthday.  We all wrote letters and I added all of his birthday cards and a monster party hat.  James made a lovely slideshow which I could not lay eyes on without crying. So much fun and so tiring!  I look forward to doing it again in a year.  

**  All of the pictures you see here (except for the monster wreath picture- which was taken with my iphone) are courtesy of Mrs. Twila Allen of Twila's Photography!  Check her out- she's fabulous! You can see her site here. **

diapers to dorms

We all know them, in fact you might be one of them, sometimes I am one of them.... the people that are never happy with where they are in their lives.  The ones who are always wishing away the days longing for the next step.  I'm not saying you're wrong in doing so, it's just sort of been driving me crazy lately.  Wishing for a relationship... a wedding.... a new house.... to be pregnant.... to have a baby..... etc.  Maybe it's about feeling accomplished? Maybe it's just dissatisfaction?  But on top of this constant "looking to the future" each stage holds constant complaints about what was so wished for.  Wishing for a house just to complain about the responsibilities that come with it.  Wishing for a pregnancy just to complain about every ache and pain. Wishing for a baby only to complain about sleeplessness and fatigue.  {Side bar- Let me just remind you/myself that there are people that only dream of the blessings we have.  He only dreams about having a warm home to sleep in, let alone the 4 bedroom 2.5 bath "mansion" that you own. She only imagines feeling that little baby kick inside her womb and push its little feet into her ribs making it difficult to breathe.  Infertility comes in many forms and is so painful.  Those parents can no longer hold their child on this earth but look forward to holding their child somewhere in eternity due to a heart-wrenching tragedy that took his life away.  I know... moving on.}

I guess the reason it has bothered me so is because of where I've been... At least that is what I've come to assume.  I don't really know... and I know at times I am guilty of the other. But I'm here wishing with every ounce of me that I could just slow things down.  That I could find a way to hold on to each moment that passes.  That I could find some magic wand  time machine something that would help me to remember every second of this precious time.  I don't want to forget.  I don't want to let my baby grow up... so, I ask myself.... "Is this really better than wishing for the next stage?" I mean, I know that there has to be a balance between treasuring the moment and looking forward to the future.  Oh, that's so hard!

I know he's here (Anderson, that is) for the same purpose I am.. to further the Kingdom.  I am enjoying each stage of his development and truly love watching him learn, but I have this dilemma of the heart.  Each time he learns something, he becomes more independent of me.  He needs me less and I want him more.  For nine months it was up to God and me to sustain his little life.  I understand that he's only six months old and we're far from moving into the dorms, but I see it happening in my mind's eye and it is too quick.  I miss him already.

 Children are a heritage from the Lord, 

offspring a reward from Him.

~Psalm 127:3~

  

Stationery Card

Rainbow Letters Valentine's Card

Modern shower invitations and holiday cards by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Hope Fulfilled

I can't describe to you the feeling I have each time I look at this sweet boy. 

Through our journey to the present, I have loved each of our babies with my whole heart.  Nothing takes away the longing to hold each of them and look upon their sweet faces.  But as the precious coos, hearty laughs, and happy squeals fill my living room even as I write this, I am so thankful for the gift that God has given in my sweet Andy.  He's such a blessing and I know no truer example of hope fulfilled in my life.  Praise God for His faithfulness in blessing us with the desires of our hearts and for holding tight to our little ones until we join them in eternity.  What a beautiful hope he gives.

"Now, Hope is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see." 

-Hebrews 11:1-

Transitions

I think one reason I am not a good blogger is because there is so much to say.... on so many different topics... and I get overwhelmed with which one to go with.  I start thinking about all the different things that are changing or that I am learning and I just can't choose, so things go unwritten.

As most of you know, we are getting closer and closer to meeting our little boy.  I truly can't believe that we are only 8 weeks away from our due date.  There is still much to do and decide, but he's almost here!

With the excitement of a new baby comes so many wonderful things, but also things that are difficult to let change.

Five years ago, I entered into a transition time when I married James, who is still the love of my life.  I left home and a job I loved, got a new roommate, moved to a city in which I knew no one, started attending a new church, and wondered... "What's wrong with me?  Is it normal to feel this way?"  I soon realized that while I was excited for the new blessings that God had given, I was grieving the things that were slowly becoming less a part of my life.

Our trip to Destin last week

Now just when I thought I was getting the hang of things, here we go again.  My life is once again changing so quickly that I'm not sure I can keep up.  A baby is coming!  I guess I didn't understand - and probably still don't - what all that entails.  The precious moments of "just us" are going to disappear for a while.  Though I know we can make time for date nights and such, it will be much different.  No more spontaneous dates alone, quick trips to a bed and breakfast, or lazy Saturday mornings spent eating a late breakfast and snuggling up on the couch.  James and I will be thinking about this little guy and planning around him for a long, long time!

I said goodbye to the most wonderful job I have ever had.  Each time my job place has changed over the last few years, there have been some bittersweet moments.  But, nothing can compare to the family God gave me at Brown's Chapel.  A wonderful boss, a fabulous team to work with, children that enrich my life so much, and truly, a family that I have shared so much with.  It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done to hand in that resignation letter.  But, I tell people that my real career is about to begin.  I can't think of a more humbling and gratifying career that to become a mother.  I just pray that everyday God shows me exactly what to do and how to do it with patience and grace.

Last goodbyes to my Brown's Chapel Classroom

I said goodbye to the only car I have ever owned.  My little red mustang took a trip to Colorado a couple of weeks ago.  I didn't think it would effect me as it did, but as I watched it drive away without me, the tears came.  Isn't it silly to be so attached to something so temporary?  Yes, it is a good car, but it isn't going to last forever.

Goodbye Sally

Hello Baby-mobile

I said goodbye to some very dear friends.  Though this is not baby-related, they didn't leave because I'm pregnant.... It was so difficult to pack their things in that big truck and let them leave.  I know God has big plans for them.  There is no doubt in my mind that they are doing His will and are furthering His kingdom, but my own selfishness wanted them so badly to stay here with us.  The friendship is not over, just different.

Casey, Eric, and Elle getting ready to say goodbye.

James and his favorite little buddy, Elle.

One last family picture: Casey, Charlotte, Elle, and Eric

I'm saying goodbye to so many things, but also saying hello to so many more.  A new car, sweet little clothes, new paint colors, sweet kisses on baby toes, coos and babbles, watching James become a daddy, and precious moments of all kinds.  One of the most difficult things that I have had to get used to is having a nursery in my house.  It seemed so permanent to start changing things like that... and if I have learned anything about this life, it's that nothing is permanent.  I struggled knowing that there is no guarantee that a baby will be sleeping in that room... there is no rule that says once you get to a certain point in your pregnancy, everything will be perfect and nothing can go wrong.  Having a nursery in my house was like saying, "Okay!  This is it, in just a few months, you will have a baby in your arms."  But I knew, without a doubt, this might not be the case.  I know that sometimes life doesn't go as you plan.  I know that sometimes unexplainable things happen and leave you heartbroken and I didn't want to have a constant reminder of that in my house.  I didn't want to be tempted to sit and sulk and think about all the might-have-beens in that room if our little one never made it past the boundaries of my body.

Mom and James starting to paint the nursery.

 

Trying to get things arranged.

It's not finished yet, but we're getting closer!

So, I guess you could say that this has been my greatest leap of faith in the past months.  (Having baby showers and getting a nursery ready.)  I know it must sound silly to some, but it took so much to say "okay, let's get ready for baby."  Faith to know that God's plan is in action.  Faith to know that a nursery, even if for some reason not needed, will not be my downfall.  Faith to know that leaving somethings behind to experience others will be rewarding.  Faith to know that no matter what happens, God loves this little boy more than I do. 

HE LOVES HIM MORE THAN I DO!!

We have prayed for him to come, and now he is coming!  (I don't know why I am surprised to have answered prayer.)  Praise God for his faithfulness.  Each day brings a new challenge and he is always there.  Please continue to pray for our little growing family.  Pray for peace as we prepare and strength in laboring to bring him into the world.  I know we have so much to learn.  We are so thankful that we don't have to  do it alone.

The Sweetest Story

Well, I suppose this has waited long enough.  I've had this blog page open for the last week trying to think about how to write my next post. 


I went to the New Vision Winter Women's Event last weekend and really enjoyed my time there.  The guest speaker, Lisa Whittle, spoke on telling your story.  I can't say that it was anything profound for me... I mean I guess I have been learning a lot of things that she talked about on my own in the past two years.  However, it was gratifying to hear someone else confirm that your story does not define you.  Our stories consists of experiences, good and bad, that we have throughout our lives, but that is not all.  The most powerful part of our stories is what God has done to change us through them. 


When I first started this blog, I told my story and shared the beginnings of my journey with you.  I have found that it is the sweetest kind of story.  God is teaching me new things about him all the time.  I have been so blessed, even in my hurt, to find him waiting for me each time I turn around.  In the moments that I forget that he is bigger than this life He never ceases to amaze me with his timing and faithfulness.  Equally so, I am amazed that I so easily turn away and forget. 


I wanted to share all of this to tell you that my story is changing once again.  On December 26th, 2011 we found out that we were expecting.  Through several weeks of hormone checks and ultrasounds, things are good.  I am officially 11 weeks along and baby #4 is the picture of health. 

Most recently, I've been learning a lot about fear and faith.  As you can probably imagine, because of our history, I have been battling a lot of anxiety and fear. God truly has been revealing to me that faith in Him is the only solution.  This week I have been meditating on his word in Ephesians.  

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:16-21 NIV)

 He truly is able to do "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine." Those words really struck me this week.  I know that He is bigger than my fears of loss.  I know that He is bigger than my fear of hurt and tears.  I know that He is bigger than my fear of losing another baby.  And no matter, how many times the doctors say, "Everything looks normal, you shouldn't be worried," I can't get that into my head.  The only thing that seems to help are His constant reminders that He is GOOD.  In a world of  change and confusion, He is constant.   I am coming to realize that if I can't give this to Him, this is not the end of anything.  If this baby makes it into our arms, then I will be worrying forever!  So, it has to start now.  

As we continue to pray over this little life and the coming months of development and growth, We ask that you pray with us.  We will keep you updated as often as possible.  Thank you in advance for your love and support during this terrifying and exciting time.  :)