Family of 4

Family of 4

Monday, June 20, 2011

Father's Day

Father's Day this year, like other years has given me the opportunity to reflect on the men that have had such an influence on my life... my dad, my grandfathers, my father-in-law, and my Heavenly Father.  All such blessings and so important...

The father that I new first, of course is my dad.  He introduced me to so many important things in life.  I first saw in him what it meant to love and receive love (daddy style).  I cherish most the time that he took me on "dates" and we spent time just the two of us.  Being a girl, it was difficult for him to know what to do with me... not hunting or fishing, etc... so we often went shopping or to the movies!  I am so thankful that my daddy is the hard working and loving man that he is.  He never fails to amaze me with his energy and drive to "get the job done."  He loves me for who I am and continues to look out for my well-being even when I am not under his roof anymore.  He was my first glimpse into how God loves us and I am so thankful for the roots that he helped our family to grow.

Oh my sweet Daddy Red.  I don't think I ever knew he was sweet until I grew much older.  There were so many fun times when my cousin and I would race to be the first to get the mail for him to be the recipient of a new shiny quarter!  I never won, but he'd give me a quarter anyway.  He was a funny man at heart always ready to tell a new joke or play a new prank.  He taught me so much about enjoying life and doing what makes you happy.  Just a short time before he died, I saw more of his true gentleness come through.  I always saw Daddy Red as the fun-loving grandfather that liked to hunt ducks, but it took a long time to realize that this was not the depth of his character.  He was so kind and gentle and made sure I new exactly what he thought of me before it was too late.  I will never forget the sweet stroke on my face and hair and such sweet words.  I sometimes forget how much I miss him.

This is my Papaw, my mom's dad.  Papaw is a bit of a worrier, but I have realized after all of these years that he only worries because he cares so deeply.  He has tips for every job you could ever do and seriously is one of the most genuine and sincere people that I know.  He loves with his whole heart but has a hard time showing it to others so that they know how he feels.  Papaw is a hard worker and even in his 70's continues to stay on top of things at home.  I cherish each time that I get to sit and hear his stories of growing up.  I don't know if I will ever live up to the image he has of me in his mind... but am so thankful that he sees the best in me.  He challenges me to live better and love stronger. 

This is my father-in-law, Jimmy Lee.  I have never known a man who is not my father or grandfather to love me and try and take care of me the way that he does.  Every time we visit at his house, he insists on giving me his bathrobe so that I don't get cold.  Though I have known him the shortest amount of time, of all of these men I have mentioned, I don't know that he loves me any less than they do.  I am so thankful that I could marry into a family in which the well being of my husband and I are so important.  Without Jimmy, I feel sure that James would not be the man that he is (even if we do have to drive out to the worst part of town for Father's Day dinner at the shabby Piccadilly Cafeteria at his request). 

Though this man, my amazingly talented and devastatingly handsome husband James Lee, is not yet a father, I know that one day he will add that to his already impressive resume as well.  I know that he will be one of the best and I look so forward to falling even more deeply in love with him as I watch him play with our children.  I know the day will come.  I can only imagine how wonderful it will truly be.  I am sure there will be days where patience runs thin, but I know we will stand firm in our hope in God and trust that he will grant this desire of our hearts.  James, remember that one day we will meet all of our babies... I say that because there will probably be days that you have to help me remember as well.

Last, but definitely not least, my precious, gracious, loving, holy, faithful, and ever constant Heavenly Father.  I surely would not like to imagine where I would be today without the strength and goodness that He is to me each and everyday.  I am not always good at remembering Him and I am not always good at being His faithful servant, but it never ceases to amaze me that He is still there every time I look in His direction.  He always meets me where I am and never demands that I be something that I can't... He just lovingly waits for me to choose Him over the world. 

So there you have it... the best that I can put into words what all the "fathers" in my life mean to me.  I dare not say that I did any of them justice, but I am so thankful for each. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


Well, I have been thinking of doing this for a couple of weeks and really don't know where to start.  I just thought that a blog might be a good outlet for me to share the things of life that are difficult, or joyful, or creative.  The first thing to do is tell about myself I suppose...

James and I got married July 14, 2007.  I never would have imagined the joys and pains that we have experienced throughout the last almost four years.  I new I loved and had married a wonderful man then, but now I truly know how blessed I am to have married someone so perfect for me.  He truly is the right fit.  After our wedding we honeymooned in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.  We loved it!

It truly was a wonderful beginning.

That first year of marriage was a year of adjustment and transitions.  I moved to a new town, started a new job, attended a new church, and left a lot of things behind that I loved... and though they weren't gone, they were different.  I suppose that is what marriage is all about.  Clinging to your new spouse and learning to be one.  Boy did I cling!  Being married to James was the easiest thing in my life that year.  I don't know what I would have done if we'd been struggling too.

About a year and a half after we got married, we decided to buy a house.  We hunted and hunted and finally decided on our little cottage in the dandelions in the summer of 2009.  (I say that because in the Spring, we are literally taken over by them.)

In October of the same year, I made my first trip down to the Dominican Republic and found the other love of my life.  I came home and told James that I could not imagine living the rest of my life and not go back there.  I even picked out the perfect spot, on top of a beautiful hill over looking the sweet little town of La Repressa to build our new Dominican Home.

The week after I returned home from the DR, we found out we were pregnant... then two days later we found out that we weren't.  We miscarried almost immediately after finding out.  Recovering from our grief was quite a journey.  We decided a few months later to try for another baby.  But it wasn't time.. it took us a year and a half to finally conceive again. Unfortunately, our second pregnancy was short lived as well.  January, 2011 we miscarried once again.  I never realized how you could miss something that you never got to meet.  Our hearts were once again broken.  Several tests later, my doctor found out that I had a folic acid deficiency... problem solved?  I started again monitoring my ovulation cycles and due to our new findings, took 8 folic acid pills a day.  Much to our surprise, we turned up pregnant just a short time later with baby number 3.  This one definitely not tried for or planned, so we thought, "Well, maybe this one is meant to be!"

Everything seemed to be going well.  I'd had none of the signs of the previous two miscarriages and we were scheduled to see our baby for the first time on Friday, June 3rd.  Sadly, we saw our baby but there was no heartbeat.  So, here we go again- on a journey to recovery.  We know that we serve a loving and faithful God.  We know that His plan is bigger and better than our own.  And we are so very thankful for the friends and family that we have continuously lifting us to Him in prayer.

We will be okay.  We know the plans He has for us are good.  Plans to prosper us and not to harm us.

Jeremiah 29:11